does age difference matter in marriage

Your parents are pushing you to marry a girl who is much younger than you. The Chart shows an 18yr old (blue line- your age) can marry a 22yr old (black line – upper limit) boy & NOT 29yr old boy. Being in love trumps everything when it comes to love and marriage, irrespective of age or age the differential of those in love. Age difference in the present times, when husband & wife are both into equivalent jobs & both share household work, has a different rationale. Age of a man is 38, there should be about 12 year age difference in marriage. You could choose to be a fatalist and say whatever fate has in store for each of us! If the age difference is such that one of the parents will be too old to play an active role in bringing up a child, it may have a bearing on the decision to get married or have a child. There is no grown-up in the relationship and both of them have to deal with disappointments and frustrations without straining the relationship to a point where reconciliation is not possible. Both love their children completely. The generational gap may not be a deciding factor when choosing an older woman. Popular Nigerian celebrities have shared their candid thoughts on the issue of age differences in marriage, and whether age has got anything to do with who you fall in love with and get married to. Here are some of the advantages of marrying an older woman. 18 celebrity couples with significant age gaps; Explore the full list of benefits available to you as an AARP Member; TELL US: Share your marriage advice with others! My first response was that age shouldn't matter at all. Women has a clock that they have to worry about. Gaps of 10 years or less are quite common and manageable. When the difference is greater than ten years the “success rate” starts to go down. The Bible rarely gives us age examples in regards to marriage. Does Age Difference Matter in Marriage? This could lead to conflicts about who will handle responsibilities at homes such as household chores or dealing with children or pets. Whether it is one year, five years, ten, or more, true love trumps everything else. These days, showing someone respect for being elder is an archaic concept. Again, the Chart shows a 30yr old woman can marry a 46 yr old man & NOT 53yr old. Case in point the short-lived marriages between Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore who is 16 years older than Ashton! Marriages were more of an alliance between families than between the boy and the girl. Buddhist Marriage Traditions – The Complete Guide! I don’t see marriage heading to oblivion yet. In other words, it is generally true that the smaller the difference in ages, the greater the chance of having a successful marriage. You may well argue that age is just the biological status of your body. A younger girl ensures the status quo of a patriarchal society is retained. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz, the Official Guides To Marriage. In fact, they have fallen deeply and unequivocally, in love. Does Age Difference Really Matter in a Marriage? Negative perceptions about older men dating or marrying younger women are all too common. With over 30 years of research on love and successful marriage across six continents of the world and their own 46-year marriage, the Doctors know what makes relationships work. The life experiences of a 17-year old are very, very different from a person who is 47! You may have both grown up in different time frames and this might lead to miscommunications and perception gaps. Especially in love marriages that defy conventions, the couple’s resolve to remain married to each other even though their relationship may be seen as odd directly corresponds to their own personal belief and the confidence they have about their decision. Even if your wife appears younger than her real age, you may have to share the age of your wife in several instances such as when buying insurance, school admissions for children, applying for any government services, and most importantly dealing with relatives who want to know your wife’s age. Age is just a number. There is also the popular misconception that childbirth somehow ages girls. The answer depends on who you are – male or a female, and how you plan on getting married – marrying for love or arranged marriage. Living With In-Laws After Arranged Marriage – Challenges and Tips. In a study quoted in Psychology Today, When analyzing second marriages of the very wealthy men who made it to the Forbes 400 list, they married women who were on average 22.32 years younger than them! Why do you feel this way? Physical appearance plays a role in either highlighting the age difference in marriage or covering it up! And in fact, both would love no other human being who did not love their children. Signup for FREE. Every setback in life is a lesson that comes into play whenever a challenging situation presents itself. As the man becomes older, the age difference keeps growing. + What is the maximum age difference for marriage? You will look to AR Rehman while your husband swears the only music director worth listening to is the incomparable Ilayaraja. You will each know the most popular songs of the day. Their respective ages do not matter. Do Women Like Bald Men in Arranged Marriages? Problem: “Does ten years’ difference in age make happiness in marriage difficult? Arranged marriages between an older bride and a younger groom are rare and usually never considered as a viable option. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) may question whether the relationship is bona fide (in good faith). People who are confident of their choices (as in marriages based on love) or trust their parents or relatives to find the right person for them (as in arranged marriages), the age difference is not an issue. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz, the Official Guides To Marriage, Five Emotional Intelligence Strategies to Develop Others. Many people are concerned about how big or small the age difference of marriage partners should be. EMPLOYEE MOTIVATION -- RIP OFF THE BANDAIDS! We can honestly say they both experienced terribly bad marriages. However, when there is a large age difference (or age gap), U.S. Nautilus Book Awards Winner for Relationships. You will both read the same book or watch the movie made from the same book. The surprising conclusion from the study is, while age seems paramount in the abstract (all things being equal, men desire younger women, and women desire older men), in practice, when two people actually go on a date or get married, the age difference might not have as much importance as other considerations, such as physical attraction and a compatible personality. What Is the Best Age for Marriage? And 5-7 years difference when the woman is younger than the man. In the distribution, average marriage age difference [i.e., the mean] would be plotted in the middle of the curve, where the ‘bell’ shape is the tallest. Answer Save. As I wrote before, age differences are not a huge factor in marital success; being unequally yoked is. But why do we worry about the age difference in marriage? These differences can present great challenges in a relationship, make no mistake about that. Love well! There is the luxury of having someone experienced in the ways of the world always in your corner. In olden days society made man superior to woman and hence girls were always younger than men in home. When the differential is less than 10, the success rate goes up. The question really is more about “How do you know your are in love” versus “How old is the one you love?” Being IN love is far more important than an age difference between two people who purport to love each other. At the end of the movie, he comes back to her, having learned the value of her love and forbearance. It depends on the couple’s ability to meet each other’s expectations. It doesn’t matter. 8 Answers. ***How Does Age Difference Matter in a Marriage? 3. While the traditional roles of a man or woman in a marriage are changing and both the man and the woman may be professionally successful, decisions about the suitability of the couple for arranged marriages is primarily driven by the ability of the man to provide for the family. Does Age Difference Matter in a Relationship or Marriage? Here is a recent example of what we are talking about. Following your heart in love lets you follow your heart in other facets of life too. Paulette Sherman, relationship expert and author of Dating from the Inside Out, points out that there are some positive things about an age difference, including the fact that society has finally become more gender-neutral around instances where the woman is older, which gives women a much wider range of choices of partners. You believe in freedom he is a disciplinarian. Starting 30 y.o., women’s fertility declines. In arranged marriages with significantly older grooms (over 15 years age difference), the burden of raising the offspring after marriage may be borne by the bride or other family members. 5 years ago. The couples enjoy an excellent relationship and are happily married. Favourite answer. No longer! The potential success of the marriage really does depend upon the maturity and experience level of those who are in love. The life experiences of a 17-year old are very, very different from a person who is 47! The simple truth is this – there is no magic age differential when it comes to love and marriage. When marriage involves a significantly older man, the ability to earn a livelihood or provide for the family has a significant role to play when evaluating the age difference in marriage. When you have a husband and wife in the same age group, they will both go through ups and downs in their lives at the same time. + How old is too much of a age difference? When is the youngest you'd marry (or think other should) and when is it time to call it "too old" to marry? Respect and Love are earned through actions and trust built over a long period of time. A slight difference in age is ok but not a very huge age gap because no matter how some people would say age does not matter, in reality it really does matter. Husbands were expected to be older than the wives out of a purely biological impulse: It maximised the number of surviving offspring. In another survey, couples rated blind dates (in the western world dating is a necessary condition for marriage) as per the rules set forth by a couple of newspapers. You are interested in someone who is above or below the perceived perfect age difference for marriage. Does Age Difference Matter in a Relationship or Marriage. Like beauty, age difference in marriage is in the eyes of the beholder. Marrying someone in his/her own age group sounds like a continuation of single life – A new person to hang out with, one with whom you connect instantly. Does age difference matter in love marriage? More importantly, age matters far less in a relationship than love. So, yes, age difference in marriage do matter. With age fertility of women (and men) goes down. Both Mark and Susan have children from their first marriage. For our grandparents and great-grandparents, age difference in marriage was about a decade or so. Most of the couples [i.e., 68% of them, or 34% + 34%] have age difference for marriage around the average.When the height of the bell curve is low, the age difference for marriage varies more widely, that is, there is no single age difference in which the majority of the population lies. But when it is above 10 years or more, Dearly Beloved, I … Can Age at Marriage Predict Divorce? In general, women have a longer lifespan when compared to men. Some of the disadvantages of marrying an older woman include: The chances of having a child with an older woman are relatively lesser. Copy that. To be very candid with you, the answer is Yes, it really does matter. The syncing up of both the bride and groom’s lives can throw up a lot of problems as well! A gap of 3 years or less, the holy grail that both couples and their parents seem to prefer, is probably the ideal age difference for marriage. Parents and siblings will make sure that the boy is at least of the same age or older by 2 years to 10 years. When marrying for love, age is definitely not a factor. In a marriage, as the couple goes through challenges that range from raising children, financial issues, relationship issues, dealing with the in-laws, an older woman can provide the much needed ‘adult’ perspective to tide over the setbacks. In bygone days, the boy was the breadwinner while the girl was the hearth keeper, so it made sense for a young girl to seek an older, well-settled boy. A 4-years or more age difference in marriage puts the bride and groom in two different generations as far as cultural experience go! But, if the couple can navigate these stormy waters with a bit of love, a bit of yielding and a lot of understanding, the relationship would turn out to be the stuff of legend! This rule throws up rather interesting results as depicted in the chart below. The girl was married off quite young, frequently even before puberty and the boy was also rather young. Age difference between both plays a crucial role in your relationship. I know I personally feel it doesn't matter. The question probably arose because of one of three possibilities: 1. In the last scene, he asks her to forgive him and very subtly signals his desire to get back together by calling her Kusum. Even in love marriages, men and women start seeking a relationship or marriage when they realize that they may not be able to bear children with advancing age. We see such stories everywhere both on (Example: The Hindi movie Yeh Jawani Hai Dewani) and off the silver screen. Is patience a secret ingredient for a happy marriage? Marrying a person too younger to you or too older to you is a decisive factor in sealing the fate of your marriage. If you are going through an arranged marriage, your ideal match is picked for you! In patriarchal societies such as those in South Asia or the Middle East, the ability to bear children is seen exclusively from the point of view fo the age of the woman. So in addition to the age difference, the absolute age of the bride and the groom also plays a role. One tends to not easily get agitated with age. In India, some older men and women who advertise in newspaper matrimonial columns or create a profile in matrimonial sites, describe themselves as “young looking” or “Looks young for the age”. You will definitely not have to deal with this issue when you marry an older woman! Historically, age difference in marriage has been one-sided. The girl would develop her persona primarily post marriage; marrying young, arguably, helped bond in a joint family setting and develop deeper roots within the husband’s family. Sometimes, these prejudices can hurt you when someone asks why you chose to marry someone much older than you. However, our experience tells us that the closer in age two people in love are, the greater their chances of Building a Love That Lasts. You will both idolise the cricketer in the same generation, if not the exact same one. Take the case of Padma Lakshmi, a famous model and TV personality. These perceptions are based on the following factors. Hence, marrying an older guy evens out the real age of the couple! When you are 17, contemplating marriage to someone who is 47, marriage is probably not a good idea. The earlier situation wherein the husband was expected to take the Lead on all External Issues, & the wife managed all domestic concerns had the advantage & efficiency of Role Clarity in a Team. The tricky question is – Do people who look much older than their age find it difficult to marry someone who is younger than them? And we end up with perfect playmates for future kids! Top Tips to Maintain Your Antique White Kitchen Cabinets. Some people are genetically blessed and actually look young for their age. Women with a strong sense of destiny will enjoy the prospect of going against the grain. Age differences between partners can create many problems. The grand old man we all love and respect, Gandhiji was a year younger than his helpmeet Kasturba. Someone who is 17 is still a child for the most part. We are always deeply attached to the one who stood by us in times of turmoil. When you have a big age difference, one person inevitably shoulders a lot more purely because of the age factor! Anonymous. Generational differences also show up in more important aspects of your married life such as bringing up the child. Get thought-provoking updates on marriage, love and culture. In our thousands of interviews on six continents of the world, we have learned this – when you are truly in love, your age and the age of the one you love really doesn’t matter for the most part. However, if the age gap is not so wide and far apart, it can be managed with good, shared understanding. Ltd. Age Difference in Marriage – Does it Really Matter? 7 years ago. An older bride and younger groom ensure longer companionship in the dusk of our lives! This is true in arranged marriages as well as in love marriages. An Institute for Family Studies blog argues that for many people, the longer you wait to … This conclusion poses an interesting question. While the ability to have a child is a factor, having the strength and stamina to help bring up a child is also a key factor that influences decisions on the suitability of the age difference in marriage. For example, the wife may be working long hours to meet a deadline when the husband is also busy at work. Bharat Matrimony Hacks – Review and Tips With Cost Saving Tricks. There's no doubt that age gaps can be a point of stress for couples. There are circumstances when the difference in age does matter. Couples in the same age group can choose to tackle these challenges together and work as a team. She is 9 yrs younger than me..she is 20. Ability to bear children plays a key part in helping people decide the acceptable age difference in marriage. But happy and stable couples with such gaps exist, so it’s impossible to set a rule. The 2013 US census shows the bell curve peaking at an age gap of 2–3 years with the boy older than the girl. The practical answer is any age difference where either the bride or the groom cannot fulfil the expectations of the other person. Who is Manglik? You get to tread two different decades of life in parallel, the 30’s/40’s and the 20s, enjoying the fun frolic of youth and the wisdom of age at the same time. Age difference min/max? I am twenty years old and I have been going with a man who is thirty. When one of the partners is too old for the other, problems of compatibility does arise. We will just leave it at that for now. by Sweetle(f): 2:16pm On Oct 20, 2016 By Juliet Ebirim When it comes to marriage, do age differences really matter or should love prevail over all? Some people will also think that you probably married an old man for his wealth. The boy’s responsibility was just as high though there was a safety net in a joint family. Click here to find out. So the reality is, while an age gap may bring about some challenges for couples, so long as couples work at their relationship, age should be no barrier. Age of a man is 55, there should be approximately 20 year age difference in marriage. However, there are no magic elixirs when it comes to love. Most marriages are successful when the age difference between two people in love is approximately ten years or less. Also of Interest. When one of the partners is significantly older, the benefit of hindsight and wisdom can smoothen a lot of rough patches that couples will go through in their marriages. But there is a reality to this notion as well. It matters for mental equilibrium. After all, there are different couples and families where the difference reaches up to 20-30 years, just 1-2 years, or even the same age. This may create uncomfortable situations that can sour the relationship or make you regret your decision. It’s a different story when you’re talking about someone who got saved after they were already married, but even that is God’s will. Age of a man is 38, there should be about 12 year age difference in marriage. Please Register or Login to post new comment. Your parents are pushing you to marry a man who is a lot older than you. Marriage Biodata in Hindi – Free Word Templates For Download, Magala Dosha Guide with Free Online Manglik Calculator. A big gap does matter and should be taken into consideration. There is, first and foremost, the charm of being unique and standing out as someone who follows her heart. It might be scary having a 10-year difference in age, but you both are experiencing similar things in life. Being in a Joint Family meant marriage could occur long before the boy was ready to bear the responsibility of a wife. Ofcourse the point that the age difference changes from 4yrs to 16yrs is still valid. Laughing at the same jokes and broad-based compatibility in terms of habits and lifestyle choices all point to the possibility of fewer conflicts and misunderstandings. When the couple is of similar age, both of them will face similar health issues as both age together. There are huge advantages to bucking the trend and marrying a man from a different generation altogether. She dated significantly older men, had a child and is raising the child on her own. In the vast, comforting, confusing mess we call our homeland, the answer varies and is always coloured by personal experience and expectations. ***Eliminate Negativity by Developing a Positive Attitude, ***Seeds of Success: Lessons from a Daisy, The 51% Rule — Boundaries are Your Friend, What God and the Bible Really Say About Divorce, Why Men Are Afraid of Commitment (And How To Help), Marriage Therapy: 8 Signs You Should See a Marriage Counselor, BioRegulation Therapy and the Law of Hormesis, Magnetic Fields (PEMF) and Quitting Smoking, *** Venture Capital Funding - Handling Unexpected Problems, *** Business Starting - Age and the Savvy Business Woman, 5 Cool Tricks To Increase Your Self-Confidence When You Speak, ***Promote Your Small Business as a Big Business, Heal Your Addictions and Body with Qigong Distant Energy Healing, ***A lifelong battle for freedom and independence. So, fast forward to the 21st century to a survey conducted in the US. Flexibility of Roles to both partners on a case-by-case basis or by force of personality. We do know that Abraham was 10 years older than Sarah. All that matters is that they love each other. There is no such thing as a maximum age difference in marriage. ... Be Prepared to Handle Generational Differences . Cabinets before Investing in one, business, and games in … does age difference age. Man for his wealth experiences, the wife may be working long hours to a. Tackle these challenges together and work as a shock to her, having the. Absolute age of a 17-year old are very, very different from a person who 47. Madhya Pradesh shows the bell curve peaking at an age gap between couples example, life... Of having a child with an older woman include: the Hindi movie Yeh Jawani Dewani! May adore Kohli but your husband swears the only music director worth listening to is the Diminishing! Someone asks why you chose to marry a 46 yr old man for his wealth a or. 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